Tuesday, 20 April 2010

How to lose credibility and alienate people

The third story which makes me want to bite my own hands off is that of Natalie Woods, her partner Elizabeth Knowles and their new baby Lily-May Betty Woods. You see, Natalie gave birth to their daughter via a sperm donor. Yet Elizabeth Knowles has been named on the certificate as “parent.”

This means that conveniently, Miss Knowles is granted parental responsibility for the child – rather than having to go through the courts. Miss Woods said: “We started forward on this journey together so it is fitting that we can both sign the register.” Which is fair enough – it must be a right palaver to sort out the paperwork, and if the two of you have committed to having a baby together, there should be an official way to record the fact.

However, the giant elephant in the room is that they will be, um, how can I put this? “TELLING BIG FAT LIES” on an official document. Elizabeth Knowles may be parent in the all important “love” sense, but the fact remains that she has no biological connection to the child whatsoever.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who would like to change the paper trail of their lives. A marriage you regret? Wish that loser hadn’t fathered your baby? Wanted a 2:1, not a 2:2? What a great solution – write what you wanted to happen, instead of what actually did happen!

If birth certificates are going to be nothing more than a record of your own wishful thinking, I’m sure an awful lot of women will be erasing the true fathers of their offspring and putting “Brad Pitt” as “parent.” (I can’t be the only one planning this, right....?)

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