Thursday, 24 June 2010

Cheating? You'll never catch me doing that...

                Read between the lines, buddy!                      

As my last posting was somewhat epic (and trilogies of news related to either Xtina or Lady Gaga are not everyone’s cup of tea) here’s a (relatively) quick one for you. We’re used to odious little men who cheat on their wives featuring heavily in the news, but Chris Huhne deserves an honourable mention for his sleaziness. 

The Liberal Democrat Energy Secretary (who happens to be a multi-millionaire) recently announced that he was leaving his wife for his mistress. 

Back in October 2007 (when MPS and rent boys were the scandal du jour) he informed us “I'm very comfortable with my life, so nothing like that will emerge.” 

Did nobody notice the extraordinary way he worded this statement? He might as well have said “You will never catch me doing that.” Cocky little chap, isn’t he?

In a way, it’s comforting to know that human beings generally are quite rubbish at lying. Not only do we fidget and find it difficult to look someone in the eye, but often can’t quite bring ourselves to say the damning words. 

Interestingly, a quick perusal of “How to spot liars” websites informs me that liars will often use sarcasm; “Oh yes, of course I’m cheating on you. I have sooo many other women!” – probably because it’s easier to actually say the words when they are true. 

Poor old Bill Clinton always pops up as an example; his famous “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” is often used to illustrate how liars like to distance themselves from the subject as well as actually include the true words within the sentence. 

So just in case you know a budding Minister for Hypocrisy, I’d advise caution when you hear the following:

  • You’ll never see me acting like that!
  •  I hate liars! (they always say this.)
  • Why would I lie about this?
  • Don’t you trust me? (If they had to ask, the answer is clearly "no".)
  • To be honest / to tell you the truth...
  • I did not do that (weird but true, forensic interrogators say that truth tellers would just say “didn’t”.)

And as always, when a man says he doesn’t want to get married, it means he doesn’t want to marry YOU. Pity the fool and fuhgettaboutit.

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