Beautiful Liar...?

Disclaimer: I am a huge fan of Queen Bey, but I'm also cynical about the celebrity culture which demands that singers must also be writers, producers, dress designers, perfumiers etc etc. Elvis Presley just got up and sang, after all...

So, the truth is out: Beyoncé's spectacular performance at the President's inauguration was a big ol' mime. It's not really a big deal – even Aretha Franklin said (between giggles) that "for most singers that is just not good singing weather". (It's just a tiny bit awkward that fellow performer Kelly Clarkson did a stellar live job, then.)

A visibly rattled Beyoncé was called upon to explain herself at a press conference and did so with aplomb, first singing the song again (just to prove that she could) and then defending her reasons for faking; she's a perfectionist, she didn't have enough time to rehearse with the orchestra, and after all, it was about the President. Ain't no room for errors!

We know Beyoncé is no auto-tuned amateur – the video below proves that not only is she stunning to look at without the help of airbrushing, she also has an incredible voice (and range) without the aid of backing tracks. But what grates more than the lipsyncing is the disingenuous way she did it. Jezebel led the accolades for the highlight of her performance: "She tears out her earpiece mid-song and proceeds perfectly like it's no big thing. What a pro." This dramatic move is what made the performance a "lie" – Bey was essentially implying that her pitching skills are at almost superhuman levels when she "proved" that she didn't need to hear herself in order to hit every note perfectly.

 

Mrs Carter has been the subject of controversy more than once; from the beginning of her career, there have been (unfounded) rumours that she’s really much older than she appears. (Probably because nobody believed that any 16-year-old could be that preternaturally talented and self-assured.) More recently, there have been clamours that her "songwriting" consists of changing a word or two of existing songs before claiming a writing credit. And of course, she was never really pregnant.

Our fame-obsessed society seems to be cynical and utterly credulous in equal parts; we'll believe any crazy story if it fits in with our "celebrities live in a different reality" mindset. For instance, I understand why Beyoncé might be under suspicion for not carrying her own child. A self-confessed workaholic might resent taking the requisite time out when there's an option to hire a surrogate or preferably, a magical test tube in which to manufacture the perfect child. It just seems like the sort of thing we expect from Hollywood types.

Despite the rumours, THAT clip shows a dress which clearly folds into pleats as she bends. Plus, if someone with Beyoncé's riches and PR team wanted to fake a pregnancy, you can guarantee they'd have a better method than strapping a folding polystyrene pillow onto her front. (To me, this is a more convincing point than the conclusion she had "a mother's joy you just can't fake.")

Yep. Pretty sure they could do better than this if they were really trying.

Queen Bey isn't the only singer to casually mention “When I wrote this song....” when actually the song has several writers credited. It's just that she seems to get into lawsuits more often than anyone else. As well as a legal wrangle for breaching a contract regarding Des'ree's original song Kissing You, Beyoncé upset Ne-Yo when she introduced Irreplacable with the words "I wrote this for my girls". He explained "I wrote all the lyrics. Beyoncé helped me with the melodies and the harmonies and the vocal arrangement and that makes it a co-write."

In a Marie Claire interview, she was asked if the lyrics "I can have another you in a minute. Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute", referred to Jay-Z.  She replied  'I’m sure people think I wrote it about (Jay-Z) or something, but… the obvious person is not the person at all." Which cleverly made it sound as if she did write it, without actually saying anything which would make her sue-able. Back in her Destiny's Child days, the group settled out of court when Rickey Allen alleged that they'd ripped off his song Cater 2 U.

Beyoncé's debut solo single Crazy in Love was allegedly written in 2 hours by producer Rich Harrison, who had suggested using the now-famous horns sample from The Chi-Lites Are You My Woman (Tell Me So). In fact, Beyoncé's solo album is full of tracks based on old-skool tunes or samples, with echoes of Shuggie Otis and Donna Summer apparent in Be With You and Naughty Girl, respectively. (Don't even mention the latter to Sean Paul. He's still hurt he didn't get asked to perform with her for MTV.) 

But sampling is the cornerstone of today's top hits. (It's kind of like adapting a book into a movie; you already have a good idea of what the audience reaction will be.) Pitbull's new single Feel This Moment only has A-ha's Take On Me sample and the voice of Christina Aguilera to make it worth listening to. (Why does he even bother showing up?)

 One of these people doesn't need to be here.

The rueful song-writing joke "change a word, get a third" was never more true than when John McLaughlin let Bey use his song Smack Into You. She changed it to Smash Into You and, er, that's it. It's claimed she "re-worked" the song, but the difference is minimal; if you play these videos in synchrony from the first line, they duet rather prettily for most of the track. 

 
There has long been an internet rumour that during a TRL appearance, Beyoncé claimed that she had written Emotions – perhaps in the belief that the young audience wouldn't be familiar with the Bee Gee’s greatest hits. No video footage is available and it sounds too ridiculous to be true, but I wouldn't be completely gobsmacked if it had happened. Beyoncé seems to be confused by the difference between "wrote" and "arranged"– so if she was the one who pointed at Michelle and Kelly and said "OK, you sing this line, and I'll sing that one," it's not inconceivable that she might decide she had "written" the track. 

Her writing credit on Listen from the Dreamgirls soundtrack was ignored by the Academy when the song was nominated for an Oscar. They say the "new rules" mean that there could only be three nominees per song – with those who made the smallest contribution getting bumped first. 

Hip hip producer Soundz told That Grape Juice that selling a song to Beyoncé is akin to entering a payola scheme. "She promotes the record to the highest level. She’s the best in the game at promoting a record and when she does one of your records you’ll get a single, radio, commercials and movies. There are so many different types of money that comes with Beyonce when you do a record for her so it’s kind of like the price of admission – the price to get all the other aspects is that you have to pay a little bit. She’ll want a little publishing and that’s guaranteed; she’s going to ask for it and you’re going to give it to her; no ifs, ands or buts. She’s going to make that record the biggest hit in the world so give her that publishing. She’ll take about 20%." 

So that's "Lose 20% of potential millions when a megastar sings your song" versus  "Make 100% of the nothing you earn playing it yourself in dive bars." It's a no-brainer. 

It's not just song-writing which has earned the superstar her "Stealoncé" moniker; clear parallels have also been made between her videos and previous work. As we know, all music videos copy each other – and Bey has obviously taken to heart the maxim "good artists borrow, great artists steal."

Copying Audrey NEVER counts as plagiarism, otherwise the 
entire fashion industry would be in big trouble.

Her Countdown video appears to have been choreographed directly from the work of Anne Teresa De Keersmaeker, who was not amused; "I didn't know anything about this. I'm not mad, but this is plagiarism." She softened the blow by saying "Beyonce is not the worst copycat, she sings and dances very well, and she has a good taste!" but that "there are protocols and consequences to such actions, and I can't imagine she and her team are not aware of it." 

Beyoncé did respond, pointing out that she had taken inspiration from many sources for the video. (MTV even made a comprehensive list.) While she has laughingly admitted to "stealing" from shows, she's obviously aware of the old saying "If you steal from one (author) it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research." (But Bey honey, you need to mix it up more! Nobody will notice you've copied moves if you don't put them together in exactly the same sequence...)

There is nothing new under the sun, and dance moves are often borrowed from old movies – for instance, Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal video was an obvious homage to Fred Astaire in The Band Wagon (1953) and he continued to find inspiration in Fred's work, as this video shows:

 

 
But Fred and Michael were kindred spirits – both dedicated professionals with respect for each others' work. Fred's sometime choreographer Hermes Pan revealed that Fred was so impressed by Michael's 1983 Motown performance of Billy Jean that he called him up to congratulate him. 

Beyoncé famously borrowed some Bob Fosse choreography for the Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) video (she also weirdly implied that the video is actually one continuous take, which is clearly not the case). While she cheerfully acknowledged the origins of that routine, she tends to pick slightly more obscure artists for her everyday "tributes". 

Her 2011 Billboard Award performance of Run the World (Girls) borrowed heavily from a video from Italian singer Lorella Cuccani. Which in turn was strongly reminiscent of a performance of Black Sun from Japanese artist / dancer duo Kagemu. (Is it me, or are choreographers getting kind of lazy in the age of Youtube?) The video for Get me Bodied is strikingly similar to a scene from Fosse's Sweet Charity.  

Although "Stealoncé" gets the ridicule for copycat dance sequences, we must remember that she has professional choreographers, directors and producers whose job it is to come up with the ideas (not that they're remembered when her vids win awards, but still....)

KC would rather publicly fall out with her record company than 
appear to plagiarise anyone else's work.

Inauguration pals Kelly Clarkson and Beyoncé were inadvertently involved in a plagiarism dispute back in 2009, when Ryan Tedder wrote Halo for Beyoncé and then used the same backing track on a song he wrote with Kelly, Already Gone. When Kelly heard Halo, she was furious: "No one's gonna be sittin' at home, thinkin' 'Man, Ryan Tedder gave Beyoncé and Kelly the same track to write to....' they're just gonna be sayin' I ripped someone off." Amusingly, Ryan claimed  "I would never try to dupe an artist such as Kelly Clarkson or Beyoncé into recording over the same musical track, the idea is both hurtful and absurd." Plenty of Youtube mash-up artists disagree, Tedder!

  
So is working with Beyoncé akin to signing a deal with the devil? Or is she an easy target for people who want to get their names in the paper? There is a certain petulance to the people who have been "ripped off" by Beyoncé...

For instance, wannabe recording artist BC Jean wrote If I Were a Boy and later made a big noisy fuss about not knowing that Bey was planning to release it as a single and not being happy about the situation.  I'm no expert on how these things work, but I'm pretty sure this couldn't happen unless she'd signed something which allowed it to happen. Lesson learned: If you don't want someone else to release your song, don't sell them the rights.....?!

Bootylicious producer Rob Fusari was upset that *his* idea to use a Stevie Nicks guitar riff on the track was later claimed by Beyoncé on a Barbara Walters interview. However, he does comes across as a whiny little git, complaining that Beyonce's manager father Matthew Knowles wouldn't let him re-record the riff in order to get the royalties for himself rather than, er, the original musician.  

However, his moaning does bring up an interesting point. Apparently Mr Knowles told him "People don't want to hear about Rob Fusari, producer from Livingston, N.J. No offence, but that's not what sells records. What sells records is people believing that the artist is everything."

Is this why Bey is so determined to be known as a songwriter? Is being totally gorgeous, a gifted vocalist, a talented actress and all-round Queen of the world not enough for her? Or is is just the lure of all that lovely shiny money? 

One thing's for sure for songwriters and choreographers: If you liked it then you should have put a © on it....

Passive Aggressive Pop: The New Frontier

So the other day I was sitting around in my pyjamas watching music videos (I work in the industry! It’s RESEARCH) and was somewhat taken aback by the opening lines of One Direction’s What Makes You Beautiful. The song, which won the 2012 Brit award for Best single, begins "You're insecure...." and goes on to tell the unfortunate female that she's attractive, because she thinks she isn't. Apparently the number one trait that 15-year-old boys look for in girls is low self esteem. If you want to bag a mini pop star, ladies, just "smile at the ground".

Maybe Harry got annoyed at her for being too darn happy and confident.

Bruno Mars had a huge hit with Just the Way You Are; ostensibly a really sweet, romantic song about thinking his girlfriend is perfect. "I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me, and it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see...." It is sad, Bruno, and we appreciate the effort you're making here. But isn't it also sad that a million squealing girls can so easily relate to lyrics about a girl who hates her own laugh?

It's a bit like those magazine spreads which show pictures of celebrities on their fat / ugly days. It's meant to make us feel better: "See how awful they look! Not so perfect without the airbrushing!" but actually, it's just a toxic message which basically points out that, even if you look amazing 99% of the time, you can never be good enough.

Songwriters may think they're benefiting the youngsters listening to these lyrics; "You're insecure? Even girls who date superstars are insecure!" but it just makes it seem NORMAL to hate yourself. Teenagers generally don't need anyone's help to do that.

At least some lyricists are trying to be constructive. In contrast, a N.E.R.D track features Pharrell's description of a woman with "Nice long hair, Nice ass lips, I know insecure, When I pointed out the size of her hips." Which is lovely, isn't it? What a gentleman.

If neg hits aren't your thing, you might enjoy the other end of the spectrum – all the biggest female names have had great success telling fans they're pretty much flawless. You could see this as a cynical attempt to cash in on the self-doubt of the young, but at least they're trying to have a positive impact, rather than telling kids "Stay anxious! It makes boys like you!" 

India Arie was doing it years ago with Video. 
"My worth is not detemined by the price of my clothes," indeed.

Christina Aguilera told us "You are beautiful, no matter what they say," Lady Gaga created an anthem for "the religion of the insecure" with Born This Way. Pink points out "you're so mean when you talk about yourself," before pleading with us to believe that we're perfect. Katy Perry gets in on the act, telling us "You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine" in Firework. Kelly Clarkson has made a career out of power anthems, the most recent being What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger), and Jessie J assures us that "tears don't mean you're losing" and "It's ok not to be ok" in Who You Are.

Some people blame lyrics like this for the kind of entitlement freaks who turn up on audition shows with their self-belief set in stone. However, I would suggest that over the top "I'm brilliant, me!" proclamations never come from a deep sense of self-assuredness. If you're ever "accidentally " channel hopped over to "Snog Marry Avoid" you'll have noticed that every make-up plastered, drag queen-esque female who starts off by saying "I look great, I don't care if you think I look like a skank" will, within minutes, say that she doesn't want to scrape off the slap because she thinks she's ugly. It happens every.single.time. (So don't tell me that trash TV isn't a brilliant school for human behaviour, because it's very nearly an open university psychology degree.)

In other news, may I just say that I find Tulisa's video for Young irritates me, with its shameless promotion of her fragrance "The Female Boss." I find it unbelievably sad that a 23-year-old woman would come up with this name, obviously still stuck in the 1950s mindset that if she'd just called it "The Boss" that would mean "male boss" by default. Because female bosses are just SO unusual! Get with the programme, love.

We can see you're female. Now start bossing and salute no-one!

Everyday I'm shuffling

There is nothing more Saturday morning-ish than lazing around with a bowl of cereal and MTV, is there? Music videos are one of my favourite art forms, which is why I sometimes feel fatigued by the boring old fail-safes – normally girls in bikinis writhing around a rapper (who will invariably be wearing a fur coat. The poor loves feel the cold, obviously). 

Which is why I LURVE the video for Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO.  I think it's a really clever and original use of the old "Zombies have taken over the world!" genre – and an example of when it's ok to shamelessly rip off 28 Days Later. Not to mention the fact that it’s a top tune.

So why can’t everyone come up with funny, quirky, memorable videos that bear repeat viewings? I work “in the media” as a wardrobe and art stylist, and I’ve been involved in some pretty dreadful productions. Even when you can see something is a terrible idea (or more commonly, that the “concept” makes no sense) you somehow hope that the director knows what he’s doing. Perhaps the miracle of post-production will make it all magically come together? Sadly, no. (In these cases, all I can do is try to fit clothes on the size 12 starlet who insists that she's a size 8, and hope for the best.)

For some reason I always used to think that music videos that were suspiciously similar to each other were the result of accidental copying. Say for instance Beyoncé’s Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) – I would have guessed that maybe the director’s favourite movie was West Side Story and he subliminally added bits from that. Then when they watched the music video back they'd be like "Hey, it IS kind of similar, how about that!" 

Wasn’t I naive? 

I realised the truth when directors would sent me a youtube link to a music video or advert and say "This is our reference" and then proceed to copy it unashamedly. ("Can we try to find a lamp like the one they used?")

This has made me watch videos more closely – it becomes obvious when they are derivative. For example, compare Christina Aguilera’s Fighter with Girls Aloud’s Sexy! No No No. The girls blatantly rip off the creepy giant moth motif, before moving on to Britney’s Toxic, complete with catsuits and lasers.

Katy Perry’s video for ET veered into Lady-Gaga-style weirdness, but what’s this? A Wall-E style junkyard? The exact same shots used in the True Blood credits? Wondering if anyone else agreed with me, I found this wonderful website which delves into every reference used in the video! Bravo!

 Gaga : Creative trail blazer with a penchant for poison.

When Britney, Christina et al were emerging in the late 90s, the emphasis was most definitely on conventional cheerleader attractiveness. The modus operandi was to be blonde, wear bikini  tops and sing pretty little songs about having a boyfriend. OK, so Britney liked to mix it up with her oh-so innocent school uniform ("People think it's sexy, really? No, that had never occurred to me...” – who was she kidding, the little minx) and Christina was already working her "promiscuity empowers" tagline. Being pretty and scantily clad never goes out of fashion, but these days the emphasis is much more on being quirky. Adele = not blonde, not skinny, not a cheerleader and no trace of a California accent. Katy Perry = relying on cheeky lyrics as well as a slightly mad persona. Amy Winehouse = drunkard. All these people are, ahem, doing it "their way" and this is what we now look for in performers. 

Which is perhaps why the mould of the traditional bimbette is crumbling. If you’re not as creative as Gaga, as pornographic as Rihanna or as ladette-ish as Ke$ha, you’re sunk. 

Check out Britney’s video for Hold it against me. The disappointingly dull track (freely recycling lyrics from an ancient country song) is accompanied by a video which is evidently high budget. Despite all the effort put into it, it’s boring and makes no effort to connect with the lyrics. The fight with herself is probably the most memorable part, and might have been appropriate if it had been more of a soul searching song – it's something you can imagine Gaga or P!nk doing if the song was about fighting their inner natures etc. With Britney it's just a gimmick, teamed with the wrong kind of song.

Speaking of gimmicks.... one such gambit is the wearing of different coloured wigs: Britney made this look iconic in her classic Toxic video; Xtina pulled the same trick for Candyman.  Then Britney repeated it for Womaniser... unfortunately by the time Pixie Lott had got involved with her vid for Gravity, it all became a bit old and tired. To see it now would be to know that the director had no strong vision for the video and thought they could add some interest with frequent changes of hair colour and /or outfits. 

So what else makes for a cheesy, soulless video? Brands often get namechecked in lyrics, and videos regularly show phones and other fancy gadgets in loving close up, which I find bizarre.

Matching the words to what you’re seeing on screen: Ugh. This is a ploy often used in country music, where it is forgivable because their lyrics are more of a storytelling device (The Dixie chicks’ “Goodbye Earl” is a good example of this). In a mainstream pop video, you will rarely see an on-screen kiss coincide with a lyrical one – but it's obligatory in youtube fan vids and cheap homemade music videos. Nothing marks you as an amateur faster than this. 

And the final sign that the director has given up on life and has no imagination: Toilets are used as props. Check out Taio Cruz ft Ke$ha: Dirty Picture, and the Sugababes’ aptly named Easy. I can imagine the director convincing the artists just how “fabulous” a public bathroom would look on screen, but there is no getting away from it, toilets are not sexy. At a stretch, they might remind us girls of the fun we have on nights out (where else can we talk about the boys in private?) but they are still where people go to do their poopies, so dancing seductively around them does seem a little incongruous.

The crapper:  Not attractive.

                          

Incidentally, videos that were filmed in the girls' bogs also seem to the most ridiculous in terms of offensive portrayals of women (lying on bars getting drink poured over them etc) and in the Sugababes’ case, hilarious double entendre lyrics such as “I want sex on the beach and I don’t mean on the rocks.” Brilliant!

Finally; women in bikinis are a shameless means of getting extra plays on those request shows, but as a piece of art, will it last the distance? 

Further to video killing the radio star, Christina Aguilera is currently fronting a new audition show called The Voice in which the judges can't see the singers and are forced to make a decision based on vocal ability alone. The way of the future?