Friday, 21 May 2010

Bring back the slipper....

I know I keep going on about teachers, but they’ve been in the news an awful lot lately. First there was Peter Harvey, who was cleared of attempting to kill a fourteen year old boy – resulting in what I think is the BEST opening paragraph to a front page news story EVER:

“A teacher who bludgeoned a disruptive pupil with a dumbbell walked free yesterday when a 'common sense' jury acquitted him in minutes.”

(This Daily Mail article made me laugh so much that I cut it out and stuck it on my fridge.)

The latest teacher to be cleared of attacking a kid is Lynda May, who “accidentally” cut a 12 year old boy’s thumb with a pritt stick.

The fact that he was coached in what to say by his parents (and admitted that despite using the word “retaliate” to describe his teacher’s actions, he didn’t actually know what the word meant) may be part of the reason why his accusations didn’t stand up to scrutiny.

Am I the only one thinking it would actually be quite hard to draw blood with a plastic tube of pritt stick? She must have slipped quite dramatically while demonstrating “how silly it is” to bang them on tables. Maybe she even slipped a couple of times.

It seems the tide has turned. Perhaps judges are tired of having to deal with cases where a pupil is suing for hurt feelings because a teacher dissed them?

I’m not condoning violence against “unruly” pupils of course. But wouldn’t it be funny if the laws were changed overnight and nobody told the kids? Then when a giant bruiser of a 14 year old is violent and abusive to a teacher and taunts "You can’t touch me, I know my rights!" the teacher could give them a big slap and say “Think again, punk!”

But then, I’m a meanie. I also think it would be amusing to turn off all the cameras in the Big Brother house and not tell anyone inside, so when they come out expecting fame and fortune, nobody would know who they are. (As it is, the process takes about 5 years, which is far too long.)

In the meantime, is it safe to assume Arnie’s comeback film will be an update of Kindergarten cop; “Teacher's revenge”?

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